I Am Now Here

OK…. I’ll admit it.  The last few days haven’t been as chipper as I’d like them to be.  It’s often very hard to realize your blessings when you are wallowing in frustration or pain.

I had a timely email come to me.  It actually came the other day, but I finally got around to reading it today.  It made me realize that it’s OK to feel a little down once and a while.  It’s almost impossible to be cheerful all the time!  Again…. from one of the many newsletters I get…. this one is from Teresa Romain.  Here’s just one paragraph from her newsletter:


Far too often, I’ve used positive thinking to “make things okay” that are not okay.  I’ve used positive thinking as a way of avoiding dealing with things that are uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, or plain ol’ hard.  I often use “positive thinking” to deny or avoid feeling emotions like sadness, anger, grief, frustration, discouragement, fear.  


We (and I include myself) think that positive thinking makes us feel better and maybe it does – for the short term.   But if positive thinking is being used (consciously or subconsciously) to deny reality or avoid feeling or dealing with something we don’t like – it’s really NOT going to make us feel better.  It becomes a “band-aid” instead of a cure. 

Denial is certainly not a good thing.  So…… I’m going to admit right now that things aren’t OK.  Don’t get me wrong….. they could be much worse, but dealing with an illness can get depressing.  It’s been really hard to be motivated to get much done.  Perhaps it’s just an excuse….  since picking up the phone and making a few calls is surely not going to ‘tire’ me out in any way!

Here’s another point Teresa Romain makes…. which I love.  What does this say?  IAMNOWHERE   There are two ways to read that.  Either I AM NOWHERE ….  OR …… I AM NOW HERE.  I choose the later.  Here’s how she applies it to feeling down:

What if, instead of trying to put a “positive” spin on “I AM NOWHERE” – you simply admitted and accepted “I AM NOW HERE”.  No judgment – positive or negative.  And if your NOW HERE is not what you want or it’s not working for you – what if you used your energy to take action (one step at a time) to deal with that and move toward what you do want.  Believe me, that’s a MUCH more productive use of your energy than trying to put a “positive spin” on everything.

Today, I’m admitting that “I am now here” .  Not at all where I want to be, but I can deal with it one step at a time.  “This too shall pass”.  These Shingles will heal and the pain will subside.  I guess I should refer myself back to my own post about ‘Baby Steps’, huh?

I’m grateful for Teresa Romain’s newsletter this week.  It made me realize that I can give myself permission to be a little down.  I can  accept that this is where I am at the moment and that I can make improvements, not only physically, but mentally!  As long as I don’t wallow in the frustration forever!

I am Grateful!  How are you?



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