“Give yourself praise.”
Why do we find it so hard to praise ourselves when we achieve something? It doesn’t seem to matter whether our accomplishments are small or sensational. Giving ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done, can be the emotional equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest!
Perhaps you were trained to be modest; perhaps, you were told you were hopeless and didn’t learn to believe in yourself. Perhaps your past achievements were simply ignored by parents, peers or mentors. Or, maybe you’ve simply given up on expecting accolades.
We often freely praise others for their achievements yet withhold it from ourselves. But self-praise is important – more important than praise from others. Others are not always dependable. But, you can always count on yourself.
Today, begin your journey of self-commendation. Praise yourself for each achievement, however insignificant you may think it is. Watch yourself achieving as you go about your day. And give yourself a pat on the back – you deserve it!
My husband has a saying. It’s not something he says a lot…. but he does say it. He quotes from the Book of Tooteronomy: “He who tootereth not his own horn, the same shall not be tooterethed!” In regards to what you just read above…. I think this applies very well!
Believe it or not….. I’m not very good at tooting my own horn. At least not in ways that I probably should be. But, then again, haven’t we all been raised to believe that it’s not good to brag? Where’s the line between having enough confidence in yourself or something you are involved with that you have the courage to talk about it to others, and just being obnoxious about your capabilities and bragging all the time?
Earlier today I was having a conversation with my son. He was talking about an acquaintance of his who was talking to another friend of theirs. This acquaintance was asking the other friend what he did for a living. When the friend was done explaining what his job was, the acquaintance went on to brag about himself, the position he held, and accomplishments he had made at work and then promptly excused himself to go take care of some other important business, leaving this friend just hanging. Probably with his mouth open and thinking: “Unbelievable!” My son referred to it as being a jerk.
That kind of reminds me of a great song from Beauty and the Beast called ME. It was added to the Broadway Production. Though it’s not in the movie, you still get the idea in the movie that Gaston is pretty stuck on himself!
This is the best rendition I could find of it on Youtube in case you’ve never heard it…..
Now that’s obviously not OK. So when is it OK to talk about the things you are good at and when is it inappropriate?
I guess the kinds of things I’m referring to here, at least for me personally, are musical talents. I’m a pretty good singer. At least I’ve been told that. There! See! I can’t even talk myself up in a blog post that’s about that very thing! I have to admit that I really appreciate when someone has enough confidence in themselves to be able to promote themselves. And I don’t mean in an obnoxious way. Not self serving or egotistical. Perhaps part of that comes from passion and a true belief that they are really good. OK…. I hear you…… I know what you’re thinking….. ‘but what about those people who confidently promote themselves and aren’t good?’ I don’t know what to say!
I suppose that’s one reason why people in the arts have Managers! They can do all the bragging for them! But, really…. as the article I first quoted mentioned….. we do need to be able to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. I think most of us are OK with telling ourself ‘good job’ or ‘Well done’. It’s passing that on to someone else that I lack a great ability.
I’m still searching for the happy medium. The place where I can promote things I’m good at without sounding cocky! I’d be happy to hear any of your comments on what you do to confidently talk of things you do well! We can all learn from this one!
I’m grateful for the reminder that I need to ‘toot’ my own horn once and a while and that it’s perfectly OK to do it! Go ahead….. toot your own horn right here in the comments,
Well I’ll be a monkey’s Uncle! I just found a book on the internet called: Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It! by Peggy Klaus. Now that’s one I have to read….. so I just ordered it!!
I am Grateful! How are you?