Have you ever had someone say “How are you?” and you feel like saying….. “You don’t really want to know….” because, after all, if you really told them, it would take all day! I have a cute older Sister that I work with in the temple that when she is asked the questions “How are you?” She replies, “How much time you got?” Just makes me giggle. But truthfully, if we did have the time…. she probably would love to tell me how she really is doing! And she’s a talker!
We all like to talk about ourselves. It makes us feel good…. and important….. and validated! Just think how important it is to let a young child talk about themselves. When they bring a picture to you that they’ve drawn…. the love to explain all about it! It’s a great way to build their self esteem AND their creativity! They want to tell you about their day, etc.. While it’s hard to give them the attention they need all the time…. it’s important to listen to them and let them talk about themselves.
“A brilliant conversationalist talks to you about you.”
Most of us are never happier than when the conversation has turned away from others and toward ourselves. When people talk to us about our lives, our family, our achievements or our goals, we subconsciously feel we must be worthy of attention. Our confidence rises; we feel energized, cared about and uplifted. Deep inside we’re a little proud that we have become the center of attention.
Now think about how little it would take from you to create all those positive feelings in others! A few questions, a focused ear, and a genuine interest in what you are hearing, and you too can pass on the gift of added energy, caring and confidence to a friend, a neighbor or a family member. Imagine the power we could create if we all did this today!
Let’s try it!
It’s important that we all get our time to talk about ourselves. You can’t always be letting the other guy talk….. but it’s important that we realize that they have things to talk about too.
In a audio course I have called Listening for Success, by Steve Shapiro, the author tells a story of how he is visiting with a friend and the subject of his own Father comes up. The author makes a comment about his own Dad that is a similar experience that the friend has had with his own Father and then the friend interrupts the conversation and starts talking about his own Father. The author finally interrupts the friend and says: “I don’t care!” He explains that they were talking about the authors Father and the friend had interrupted with a story of his Father and the author was so annoyed by it he didn’t care to hear the story of his friends Father!
While we all like to talk about ourselves…. it’s important to allow the other person to tell their story…. without interrupting and thinking our own story is more important! It’s a good business practice as well as a practice we all need to learn to have better relationships with people.
I’m grateful that I’m learning to try to apply this in what I do. I’m finding that when you do allow the other person to talk about themselves, with full concentration on what they are telling you, that you really can build a better relationship with them. Besides….its’ fun getting to know them! Listening skills really are important for success….. in all aspects of life!
Now let’s go make others feel better by listening to them talk about themselves!
I am Grateful! How are you?
This video cracks me up…. I love this song. It’s verification that we all like to talk about ourselves! It makes us feel good! We have to allow our men to get a word in once and a while ladies!!