The Journey To Be “Me”!

I have discovered the last few weeks that I am embarking on a journey to be me.  With the recent challenges I have been faced with…. it has been a real awakening to what’s really down deep inside of me.  A me that has always been there and longed to come out but maybe hasn’t known how!

With my recent diagnosis of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, I have done some real soul searching and praying.  There’s always those questions running through your mind…. “Why me?”  “Why now?”  “Why NOT me?” and many others that really start you to thinking.  Luckily, this is a disease that can be cured.  So I know I have a long life ahead of me.

This is me! I’m on a journey to find what’s deep inside me so I can share it with the world!

I have come to know deep in my heart this last week that this has lead me to the beginning of this journey of who I really am… and what I have to offer the world.  I’ve realized that I haven’t really ‘believed’ as strongly as I know I can of my divine worth, of my true magnificence and that I am truly a child of God….. and as such…. what a great inheritance I have and am and should be!

It’s amazing how the Lord puts people in our path for a reason.  I have met people just these last several months that are playing an integral part of this journey for me right now.  I had another overwhelming feeling from my Heavenly Father this morning that I am on the right path…. but it has only just begun.  I know there are many people that are and will help to lead me there, for which I am so grateful!

I have much to read and study and pray about and oh so much to dream about!  Part of what I am being counseled is to get really clear on what I want out of my life, both short term and long term.  This too has been things I have known and read about but haven’t taken the time to write and down and be clear about.  Oh…. I’ve attempted writing out goals and dreams…. but following through with a daily affirmation reading of them has not been very good.  Probably because I felt they weren’t complete so I needed to wait till they were.  I’m learning that it’s always a work in progress….. and that just getting started with it AND reading it everyday is going to make a huge difference for me.

I don’t know how long it will take me to become completely clear on what my specific personal purpose is.  I have vague ideas… but not sure they are right.  I know that by getting clear on everything I will be lead to an answer.  I truly believe the Lord is just waiting for me to ask!

In a crazy way….. I’m so grateful this challenge has come to me!  It has blessed me so much already.  I know I am taking the right steps to heal myself.  I know that my diet and supplements I am taking will help me to hyper heal.  I also know that I was lead to feel OK about taking chemo along with it.  I fought it for a long time because I also know that many people are beating the cancer fight without chemo.  But I felt I was lead to a peaceful answer for me.  Though I know I may have some tough days ahead of me…. I also know that most of them will be wonderful!

I also feel that this is a blessing in disguise to those around me.  I know that it will bring us closer in a way we’ve never been.

So…. as I embark on this journey to be me…. I hope that I can inspire many of you to do the same!  We all are so much more than we allow ourselves to believe and can give so much more to mankind than we have any idea we are capable of!  So…. join me in this journey!  I’ll try and keep you posted on what I’m doing to make that journey happen for me.  Perhaps it will inspire you to do some of the same things!

I am grateful!  How are You?

P.S.  If you are interested in hearing ALL the details of what my life has been like the last few weeks…. you can go to my page here on the blog called “When Life Hits A Wall”.  It’s right there at the top of the page you are looking at.  Clicking on that link will take you to my first journal entry where I tell everything ( and I mean everything….) about my experience.  I will also be updating those journal entries which you can look at by hovering over the “When Life Hits A Wall” tab.  It should give you options to scroll down to.  That way if you want to follow all the gory details you can.  It’s a pretty open book here.  Kind of crazy that I’m making it so public… but perhaps it will help someone else!


10 Replies to “The Journey To Be “Me”!”

  1. When I was ill I always wished others could learn and see what I was learning without having to go through what I was going through. But then I also wished that I could learn what I learned without having to go through what I had to in order to get there.

  2. Wanda, Wanda, Wanda!
    I’m speechless yet my mind is so full of thoughts. It was just the other day Patty and I were talking about our grandson only a short time from being 8 and being baptized. And my mind instantly went to your participation in the baptism of his mother. Can we be that old? Yes, I’m afraid we are. There have been so many moments in work, play and worship we have spent with you and John. Enough to help me know who Wanda Copier is. A dedicated wife, mother, friend and daughter of God who not only professes her beliefs in word, but in song and deed. Wanda is a woman with a zest for life and experiencing it, all the while taking the rest of us along with her. You’ve helped so many of us over the years in so many ways. Words will never express our special feelings towards you and your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers continually. Please know we love you and John so much. It is your obligation to let us help you in any way if we can.

    All our best
    Paul & Patty

    1. Thank you Paul! I’m sorry you and Patty had to learn about it in this way….. I should have been a better friend!

      Thank you for your kind words! They are appreciated more than you know! I do know I have more of a purpose than what I’ve already done. My spirit has been trying to tell me that for awhile. I just didn’t know where to start! These last few weeks have truly been an eye opener for me! I’m being lead to the people that can help me figure out what it is! It will be an interesting process!

      We should get together…. we don’t see each other often enough! I’m feeling great. Really. For the day after my first treatment…. I’m surprised at how good! I know I get about 11 more great days before I have to do it again! But I also know that my attitude (and supplements) are helping me get through this too!
      Bless you for taking the time to make such sweet comments! We love you guys! Let’s get together soon!

  3. Hi Wanda! This post is spot on — I have been thinking about my journey 15 years ago and had very similar thoughts. I realized I wanted to learn from this experience, I didn’t want to go through it and not have made positive changes in my life. Looking back I wonder if it was always the plan for me all along because I had been searching for ways to improve myself. In an odd way it was a gift to realize all the support around me as well as my own strength that I didn’t know I had. You are already amazing and I know you will discover more extraordinary things about yourself! By the way, I’m really enjoying all your past posts — LOVE the link to the I AM video. I had to remind myself yeserday to take another road when I found myself going to negative thoughts. Anyway, you have touched my life and I am grateful for that 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! I love knowing that other people have learned so much from their journey! And yes…. I do believe I was brought to this for a reason!

      I’m glad you are enjoying my blog! It’s fulfilling to know that what you write can inspire others. That wasn’t really my intent when I began this blogging thing…. but it kind of turned into it as I just expressed my feelings. I’ve learned a lot about myself through blogging! But I have much more to learn!

      Thank you again for your kind thoughts and words!

  4. Hi,

    I came across your blog and really identified with some of your writing. My name is Cameron Von St. James and my wife was diagnosed with an extremely rare and deadly cancer called mesothelioma. Normally when diagnosed with mesothelioma, a person has a life expectancy of about 3-12 months, but after intense treatment and recovery she is still here 7 years later. I was wondering if you would allow me to write an article for your blog and share a little of our story with your readers. Heather was diagnosed just before the Holidays, and we had to find a way to cope with the news in the midst of the Holiday craziness. I’d love to write an article about that if you’d be interested, as it would be timely and benefit your readers. Or if you’d prefer, I could write about the challenges we faced and what we learned that helped us overcome them.

    Please let me know if you would be interested in working together on something like this! I’d love to be able to share some of my experiences with your readers.

    Thank you for all you do in making a difference,


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