I have discovered the last few weeks that I am embarking on a journey to be me. With the recent challenges I have been faced with…. it has been a real awakening to what’s really down deep inside of me. A me that has always been there and longed to come out but maybe hasn’t known how!
With my recent diagnosis of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, I have done some real soul searching and praying. There’s always those questions running through your mind…. “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why NOT me?” and many others that really start you to thinking. Luckily, this is a disease that can be cured. So I know I have a long life ahead of me.
I have come to know deep in my heart this last week that this has lead me to the beginning of this journey of who I really am… and what I have to offer the world. I’ve realized that I haven’t really ‘believed’ as strongly as I know I can of my divine worth, of my true magnificence and that I am truly a child of God….. and as such…. what a great inheritance I have and am and should be!
It’s amazing how the Lord puts people in our path for a reason. I have met people just these last several months that are playing an integral part of this journey for me right now. I had another overwhelming feeling from my Heavenly Father this morning that I am on the right path…. but it has only just begun. I know there are many people that are and will help to lead me there, for which I am so grateful!
I have much to read and study and pray about and oh so much to dream about! Part of what I am being counseled is to get really clear on what I want out of my life, both short term and long term. This too has been things I have known and read about but haven’t taken the time to write and down and be clear about. Oh…. I’ve attempted writing out goals and dreams…. but following through with a daily affirmation reading of them has not been very good. Probably because I felt they weren’t complete so I needed to wait till they were. I’m learning that it’s always a work in progress….. and that just getting started with it AND reading it everyday is going to make a huge difference for me.
I don’t know how long it will take me to become completely clear on what my specific personal purpose is. I have vague ideas… but not sure they are right. I know that by getting clear on everything I will be lead to an answer. I truly believe the Lord is just waiting for me to ask!
In a crazy way….. I’m so grateful this challenge has come to me! It has blessed me so much already. I know I am taking the right steps to heal myself. I know that my diet and supplements I am taking will help me to hyper heal. I also know that I was lead to feel OK about taking chemo along with it. I fought it for a long time because I also know that many people are beating the cancer fight without chemo. But I felt I was lead to a peaceful answer for me. Though I know I may have some tough days ahead of me…. I also know that most of them will be wonderful!
I also feel that this is a blessing in disguise to those around me. I know that it will bring us closer in a way we’ve never been.
So…. as I embark on this journey to be me…. I hope that I can inspire many of you to do the same! We all are so much more than we allow ourselves to believe and can give so much more to mankind than we have any idea we are capable of! So…. join me in this journey! I’ll try and keep you posted on what I’m doing to make that journey happen for me. Perhaps it will inspire you to do some of the same things!
I am grateful! How are You?
P.S. If you are interested in hearing ALL the details of what my life has been like the last few weeks…. you can go to my page here on the blog called “When Life Hits A Wall”. It’s right there at the top of the page you are looking at. Clicking on that link will take you to my first journal entry where I tell everything ( and I mean everything….) about my experience. I will also be updating those journal entries which you can look at by hovering over the “When Life Hits A Wall” tab. It should give you options to scroll down to. That way if you want to follow all the gory details you can. It’s a pretty open book here. Kind of crazy that I’m making it so public… but perhaps it will help someone else!