I consider myself a very religious person. Not a perfect person by any means…. but religious. I’m so grateful for the knowledge that I have that I know my Savior and Heavenly Father love me. I’m grateful for the knowledge I have a knowing I’m a child of God. And many more things that I won’t go into now.
However, as much as I love the gospel and have a testimony…… I’m not always good at daily habits that will bring me closer to my Savior and become a better person. One of those things that I’m not good at is daily personal prayer. I told you I wasn’t perfect! I know I need to prayer everyday and very often I’ve said a prayer in heart about things. I have faith about many things, but lately, I’ve felt a need for some personal guidance about many things in my life. I feel I need some confirmation that I’m doing the right things, headed the right direction or even knowing which direction to go.
It’s been weighing on my mind pretty heavily that last little while. I decided that one of the best ways I could commit to daily personal prayer was to make a commitment right here on my 30 Day Challenge page! This has been so good for me to keep track of things for so many reasons.
I don’t know how often I’ll make a post about my progress. I probably should do it daily….. though I’m not sure that everyday I would have a lot to say. But then again…. isn’t that how many people feel about making a daily journal entrance? They may be VERY short comments on daily progress…. but it will keep me aware and honest to you! So…. I’ll commit to it!
Though I’m considering today to be my first day of this challenge (which by the way is a challenge that I want to carry WAY past the 30 days!), I actually already started my process of daily prayer a few days ago. It has been good already. My goal is to also learn to pray without letting my mind wander 90 million times during the process! Am I the only one who suffers with that problem? I must be a little ADHD! Who knows…. but I need to get better at keeping my focus when I pray.
I’m hoping this daily habit will lead to many other areas in my life that I need to improve on too. That’s part of what this whole 30 Day Challenge area on my blog is all about, as far as I’m concerned….. to make me a better person! Hopefully you’ll all enjoy the process with me!
Day 1 — I felt a little distracted again today…. but at least one of the dogs was gone this morning and didn’t spend the time whimpering at me during my prayer!
Day 2 — It was temple morning this morning….. but I still pursued with my prayers! It was kind of funny to have to turn the music off from the alarm before I could pray! We usually wake up on our own with no alarms…. but 5am comes earlier than my body wants to rise! Didn’t have the time to spend with my prayer like I would like….. but I did it!
Day 3 — Success again today. Still need lots of improvement on my concentration!
Day 4 — This could get a little boring just saying I prayed again today! But I do want to keep track! Hopefully somewhere in this 30 day process I’ll have a breakthrough in technique!
Day 5 — First day of vacation. Accomplished… but needs work!
Day 6 — Second day….. so grateful for the time here in St. George and told Him so!
Day 7 — Now in Vegas…. not quite as grateful and praying for no break ins! Scary things going on around our hotel….. need the blessings!
Days 8 & 9 — Last two mornings in this awful hotel! The room’s not that bad… it’s just the promiscuity going on around us! Needed the extra prayers! Glad to be home!
Days 10 & 11 — OK…. I have no more excuses….. it’s time to really focus and think about what I’m doing when I’m on my knees! Perhaps I should try speaking the words out loud….. So far I don’t feel like my prayers are improving, but they are becoming a habit and that IS part of the goal here!
Day 12 — Wow! What a difference it makes to ‘speak’ the words….. you know….. actually form them with your lips instead of just ‘thinking’ you prayer. I don’t know what took me so long. Even though it was done in a whisper it made a huge difference on concentration. I think I just may have something here!
Day 13 — I didn’t feel quite as in tune as I did yesterday….. but still a better experience by speaking the words!
Day 14 — I’m amazed at how I can stop in flow of words and be ‘thinking’ of things related to what I’m praying about…. but not so sure I’m staying as focused as I should. Or is that a way of receiving personal revelation?
Day 15 — I don’t like being on a time crunch when saying my prayers. It was our day to serve in the temple, so I needed to get up and get ready. Normally I’m not on a crunch for most days…. I’m sure many of you don’t have that luxury…. but I do most of the time. Crunches are hard when you feel you have lots to ‘repent’ for and this morning I did! Re-listening to a conference talk yesterday made me realize I’m not doing a very good job following the counsel and I had some repenting to do! It also made me realize I need to do more of that….. repent. Still a lot to learn, but I’m plugging away!
Day 16 — I had to restart my prayers today because I forgot to ‘speak them’! I caught myself quite early…. but I know how much better I do when I say the words! Still working on feeling like I”m tuned in!
Day 17 — Today was a much better day. I felt a little more in tune and sincere about my prayers! Needs to be that way every day!
Day 18 — Doing well. Have so much to be grateful and so much that I need help improving. Need to start ‘listening’.
Day 19 — I guess I can’t expect a perfect experience every time…. Of course, it’s me, not Him with the problem! Allowed myself to get distracted with thoughts today.
Day 20 — Though I’m ‘getting the job done’…. I’m still frustrated with myself for not being better at it. Maybe I’m just expecting too much?
Day 21 & 22 — Yesterday was an ‘OK’ session….. today’s was VERY short because of temple and I had to be there early too….. but it is becoming a habit!
Day 23 — Accomplished again, though not the kind of prayers I want to be having yet….. still not sure what I need to be doing.
Day 24 — Though I was on my knees this morning….. my brain was very jumbled! I had a hard time getting through my prayers today. Not sure why. Asked for forgiveness for being that way. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
Day 25 — No…. not much better today! Sometimes I feel so disconnected to my spirit….. It’s hard to shut out the world and tune in to ‘me’! Always a work in progress!
Day 26 — A little better today. I was feeling gratitude for my children (which I do everyday….) but felt it a little more today. I suppose that’s to be expected on Mother’s Day!
Day 27 — This mornings session was a little better. Had some particular things I wanted to ask.
Day 28 — When one of your kids is struggling with some things…. it definitely makes prayer time more personal.
Day 29 — Another temple day makes for a short session. But at least the habit is kicking in…..
Day 30 — Final day of tracking for me with this challenge. Spent some time this morning with my prayers. I still have a long way to go to be praying the way that I feel I should be.
So there you go…… I know I’m not where I want to be with this challenge, but at least I think I’ve developed a habit. It was good for me to re-read what I’ve written.
I’m grateful I took this challenge. It’s one that I will continue on with. Life is a daily challenge of self improvement and this new habit will hopefully lead me down the right road and give me answers and comfort to many of the things on my mind.