12 — Truding Forward

Well… things have been pretty good.  The usual stuff I guess.  Felt pretty good till Sunday…  Why does it always seem to hit me then?  I don’t know…. but I only lasted through Sacrament meeting on Sunday and then we came home.

Up till then I was doing OK.  We went to see 5 Carols For Christmas and the Jingle Jacks at Centerpoint Theater on Thursday the 29th.  They were offering half price tickets for those firsts few performances, so we took advantage of that.  I have a cast member ‘season pass’ to the main stage shows, but this one is in the Black Box theater.

Totally loved it!  I just wish I could have been up there with my pals enjoying the antics and comedy and harmonies.  It’s so much fun!  You should go see it if you are local and you can.

On Friday, the 30th, I stopped by the house that was holding the boutique the next day to drop off some hats.  I decided besides just the Angry Birds hats I had crocheted for it, that I would take a few other hats that I had in my stash that were for Primary Children’s Hospital.  The way I saw it….. it was all supporting someone going through chemo!!  I asked the hostess if I could come back by at the end of the boutique and reclaim any hats that didn’t sell so I could take them up to PCH.  I was astounded by the amount of stuff they had there to sell for the boutique!  People are so generous when it comes to helping others!  The sad thing was, when I went back on Saturday just before the boutique ended, they still had a ton of stuff left!  I know they sold a lot too, but it made me sad they didn’t sell more!  When I got there, I found all but one of the hats I had brought.  3 of which were the Angry Birds hats!  What?  I was kind of surprised, but they were buried in the bottom of a basket where they couldn’t be seen.  When I asked the lady if I could take them back she said, “Do you mind if we mark them down and put them out where they can be seen better?”  Do I mind?  Of course not!  They were there to raise money!  I didn’t care how much!  So….. after showcasing them on the end of the couch for a while and talking to a couple of people, we finally sold two of them.  I was happy for that at least!  I ended up bringing home 4 of the 7 hats I donated.  I will take them, along with the other children’s size hats up to PCH.

I actually came home and whipped out a cute red and white hat on Friday night after seeing the stuff the boutique.  I didn’t take it over to sell the next morning though.  Just thought I would keep it in the kids size hats.  It turned out cute.  Well…. that motivated me to get started on a few more hats!  On Saturday, I took my crocheting with me and went out to visit my Mom.  I had been told by my sister the night before that she wasn’t doing so well.  We think she may have had another small stroke and she seemed to be going down hill a little.  I figured I better get out there.  Even though I wasn’t feeling super, I didn’t want to take a chance that she’d take a turn for the worse and I wouldn’t have been there recently.  I took some Alka-Seltzer and it seemed to help a little.  It’s kind of funny and sad to be sitting with your Mom and having her ask you the same question every 10 min.  I know it comes with her dementia getting worse all the time.  At least I’m grateful that I was patient enough with her to just keep answering the question like it was the first time she’d asked!  “How many hats have you made?”   Oh ….. I’m not sure….. about 20 or 30.  I finally showed her the pictures I had on my telephone of the ones we had turned in already.  I’m not sure how well she could see them since her vision is really bad, but she seemed to enjoy them and thought they were cute.

That night, on the way home from Mom’s I stopped at our Condo Christmas party.  I felt VERY under dressed!  I just had my jeans on and a shirt with a hoodie.  Everyone was all dressed up festive!  We weren’t really planning on going.  I wasn’t sure how I’d feel so I didn’t pay to go (frankly…. I forgot!!) but I still didn’t know how I’d feel!  We had received a call earlier in the week from someone on the committee reminding us that we had said we would take care of the sound system needs.  Neither my husband or I remembered that part….. but it was no big deal.  The sound needs were easily met with the house system.  John just needed to get a sound box out of the library and bring a CD player for the music…. oh, and a couple of mics since they couldn’t find any in the library.  So, I had stopped by on the way home from Mom’s to see if he had it all taken care of, which of course it had….. and John was dressed to stay.  Though I felt like I needed to go home and change, they convinced me to stay and enjoy the party.  It had already begun and she said there would be plenty of food.  Well…. I’m glad I did!  The food was very good.  I really wanted to go back for seconds (which they had plenty of)….. but by the time we had visited with the people at our table for a while…. they had taken the food back to the kitchen.  I was sad because the beef was so good!  I don’t know who the caterers were….. but it really was excellent!

Sunday, as I mentioned, I only stayed for one meeting in church.  Came home feeling not so great.  Spent the next two days crocheting more hats…. even though I didn’t feel that great.  I finally got myself motivated to get my Christmas Tree decorated on Tuesday.  I had been hoping that my daughter would help me….. but she’s hardly ever around or sleeps till late so I finally got started myself.  It only took me 4 hours!  Crazy!  It usually only take a couple of hours at the most.  I couldn’t believe how tiring it was!  I would work for 15 or 20 minutes and then have to sit down and rest!  It was quite frustrating.  After finishing the tree, I took a nice long rest, then took a shower. Then we ran a couple of quick errands and headed to my in laws house for John’s Mom’s birthday.  Several of the family members came while we were there.  It was nice to see them and visit with them.  It seems like our families just don’t get together as often as we used to.  Sad.  We spent several hours there.  I was tired by the time we came home!

Wednesday we ventured out to Costco.  There were many things we needed to get.  I wasn’t sure how well I’d do.  Still not feeling great.  I can never count on getting a motorized cart at Costco.  First of all….. they don’t have enough of them…..  and secondly, that store is always crowded!  Of course none were available….. but I needed the exercise anyway.  My legs were starting to feel a little like jelly by the time we were done.  I had to go sit down for a minute while John checked out.  Again…. frustrating that it seems to take that much effort!

Later that night, we stopped by a neighbors house that was having a little Christmas open house.  It was nice to see friends and neighbors and actually have time to visit!  That seems to be something we don’t get much of on Sundays.  I ate WAY too many sweets!  I shouldn’t be eating any….. but it’s so hard this time of year!  I need to get myself back on track eating healthy!

Thursday, after catching up on email and a little crocheting, I started the day by getting the vacuuming done.  The floor was in desperate need of it and I had some Primary girls coming over in the early evening to pay me a visit so I wanted it done.  Plus I had my husband hurry and help me get the garland around my front door that wasn’t up yet.  That way I could clear the entry of the boxes that were still there with Christmas decor.  My plans were to then get ready and go visit my Mom for a couple of hours.  However….. after I finished vacuuming, (well it came on during….) I was SO exhausted and started not feeling very well!  Plus, it was later in the day than I hoped.  I decided the visit to Mom would have to wait till the next day.  I headed in to take a nap!  I hate this feeling of feeling yucky and tired after I try to do anything that takes a little physical effort!  It’s so frustrating!

The cute Primary ‘Activity Day’ girls paid me a visit about 4:30 pm or so and came and sang me some Christmas Carols and left me a little treat.  They were so cute.  I realized that they probably wouldn’t have cared if my floor was vacuumed or not,  but I sure felt better knowing it was!

Friday I was moving a little slow, but also trying to finish up a hat I had crocheted.  I got a text from my sister at about 1:40 pm wanting to know if I was going out to visit Mom.  She was having a bad day and was giving the aides at her Assisted Living place a bad time.  I told her I had just showered and would be on my way within the hour.

I arrived just after 3 pm.  She seemed to be OK when I got there.  I brought some crocheting with me to work on.  She sleeps a lot, so it gives me something to do while she sleeps.  As the afternoon wore on, she was getting ornery.  She needed to go to the bathroom so I made her push her button to call for help.  She hates calling because she is convinced they hate her there and won’t send anyone down.  I made her wait a few minutes for a response after she had called, but no one came so I helped her in and out of the bathroom.  Finally…. 30 minutes later, someone came in.  That really is not acceptable!  It’s no wonder she complains about it.

I asked the girl what took her so long and she told me that she had just gotten the message.  She said that she was showering another resident and the other aide was tied up with another resident too.  Apparently, they don’t always hear the call for them over the intercom system when they are helping another resident.  That’s not cool either.  Perhaps they should invest in individual pagers for all of the aides????  Anyway…. that is an issue we need to deal with with the Assisted Living place, but it certainly doesn’t help the situation with Mom.  It only adds to her being convinced they hate her and won’t help.

Then, to top it off…. there are a couple of the aides that Mom doesn’t like and she is SO rude to them I want to spank her!  It’s so frustrating!  Anyway…. I stayed with her till later that night when my sister came.  She was glad to have me come down to dinner with her.  It’s so hard to see her losing it more and more mentally.  These last few weeks have been really hard, particularly on my sisters.  I haven’t been much help in relieving them of spending time with her.  She’s getting very demanding and really prefers it when one of us is with her.  We are worried about what the next step will be if she continues to decline this quickly.  She, however, would just like to die!  She says it everyday!  She’s ‘done’!  She wants to go home.

I wish it was that easy!  I love my Mom.  She’s a wonderful woman, but she’s not the woman she used to be, which I know comes with aging.  She really is unhappy right now.  As much as I hate to say it….. I wish she could go home too!  For HER sake!  It’s not fun living in a body that won’t and can’t do much anymore!  Forgive me for saying that…. but I really do!

Saturday was pretty unproductive other than trying to finish the hat I had started the day before at Mom’s.  It was one I was making for me.  I was hoping to finish it so I could wear it to see our son in Christmas Carol later in the day.  It was one of the more difficult patterns I’ve done.  Actually, more time consuming than difficult.  It took up until the time I needed to start getting ready to go for me to complete it and then….. I didn’t like it that much on me!  It didn’t turn out as slouchy as the one I had made before and donated.  AND….. the color of green was the wrong color to match the jacket I thought it would!  Oh great!  Now what can I wear it with?  I love green and I have several green shirts….. but nothing was matching!  So, after all that work, I ended up wearing one of the hats my friend had just made to donate. (I decided to keep a couple for me…. I know, I’m bad, but I’m a cancer patient too! )  Besides…. I’ll crochet a couple more to make up for it!

We really enjoyed Nate’s show.  Hale Theater does such a wonderful job with Christmas Carol.  It was fun to see one of Nate’s friend’s there too.  He and his wife are so cute.  It was great to visit with them.

After the show, I conned my hubby into taking me to Smashburger for dinner.  He said he wasn’t hungry, but I knew he’d come home and eat something anyway, so I made him go.  We shared a meal, which was just fine with me!  As long as I got to eat some Sweet Potatoe Smash Fries!  I made him drive around the mall a little so I could see all the changes that have been made since I’d been there last.  Wow…. lots of changes!  Someday I’ll check out the inside….. when I feel well enough to really get around it!

Today, I only made it through Sacrament meeting again.  I swear I start to feel sick when I get to church!  It’s so frustrating!  John hasn’t been feeling that great either, so I don’t think he minded coming home.

The kids came over today for our family time.  We made some Loaded Baked Potato soup.  I was thinking the whole time the last few days as I was planning dinner that it would be something my son Jon’s girlfriend could eat because she is vegan.  Well…. duh!  Loaded Baked Potato soup has bacon in it!  Silly me!  I felt bad….. I suppose I could have left the bacon out, but the whole soup was based on cooking it in the bacon drippings. (Which weren’t much since I used Turkey bacon!)  We made Ali a salad and she seemed fine….. at least she acted that way!

We spent some time planning out several activities for the next few weeks.  With Christmas and a couple of big birthdays coming, we had to make sure we were planning the time for some of our traditional activities.  It’s all on the calendar now.  Busy month.  I just hope I feel well enough to do it all!

We are headed back to chemo on Tuesday.  I really am dreading these last few treatments.  I just don’t feel like I’m bouncing back like I did a few treatments ago.  However…. as I’ve said before….. I think I’m handling it better than many do, but I hate feeling yucky and not up to getting much done!  I guess I’ll just have to make the best of it the next 7 weeks till we are done.  And I will!  I’ll find things to work on that don’t require a lot of physical activity…. however….. getting a little exercise is something I need to be doing!  Maybe it’s time to head up to the clubhouse to use the treadmill.  At least I have that for an option on cold days!

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